I Never Want to Be an Entry Clerk
lyrics by Glen Newton; sung to the tune of "There Will Never Be Another You"

I never want to be an entry clerk,
I think that for the pay it's too much work.
I'd have to get the colors right,
And stay typing half the night,
And hope the judges' forms don't have a quirk.

And if I had to do the benching, too,
I'd tear my hair out 'fore the show was through.
Let someone else take care of that
So I can be a jerk,
And gripe about my listing to the entry clerk.

Instrumental half-chorus with voiceover: Oh my gosh, look at the time! The entry deadline was yesterday! Okay, lets see ... (pretend to fill out form) Sepia agouti and white Maine Coon cat shorthair male alter; uh, he was in the Cedar Rapids show in 2001 or 2002; you can get his other information from that catalog; there! All done!

I hope the clerk will mark my entry paid,
And fix up any goofs I might have made.
It's fun to read the catalog if I don't do the work;
I never ever want to be...
(You couldn't get me to do it in a million years!)
Never ever want to be an entry clerk!

Performed by Glen Newton October 4, 2003, at the American Cat Fanciers Association (ACFA) North Central Regional Banquet, August 19, 2005, at the ACFA Interamerican Awards Banquet and at various other ACFA awards banquets.

Click here for a 900KB MP3 recording of the background music.

Here's the YouTube video of the entry clerks at work, together with the background music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F36IVgZ6R0

And here's a YouTube video of Glen Newton singing the entry clerk song at the August 15, 2008, ACFA Interamerican Awards Banquet in Sioux Falls, South Dakota:

This page was last updated
Friday, June 18, 2021.

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